The Overly Positive Person

Are You an Overly Positive Person?

Okay, so let’s say that somehow you have been able to surround yourself with people who never say anything negative about your work; you live in a very tiny, happy bubble. Let’s say all you every allowed yourself to hear is, “Wow, that is amazing. You are so talented. Bravo!” You would certainly be on Cloud Nine, that’s for sure. And for a while, your confidence would be through the roof.
But would it stay that way for long? Wouldn’t you, at some point, start to wonder what was true, what was real and what wasn’t? We all know that no one is perfect. We all know that phrase, “We’re only human.” So how could it be that you, without fail, produce perfection every time?

Don’t you think that would eventually begin to wear on your mind? And if it didn’t, soon enough your confidence would become so great that you would probably decide to venture out of your little bubble and show your work off to the world. What would happen then? You would probably be crushed. Even if you did produce amazing work, when you bring it to the public, there are too many opinions and backgrounds for you to get 100% positive feedback; it’s just not possible.

Overly Positive Feedback vs. Constructive Criticism 

So allowing ourselves to take both the positive feedback with the constructive criticism really gives us the opportunity to, not only develop in our field of expertise, but it also allows us to develop as individuals.
If you believe in your work and what you do, if you are passionate about it, then what constructive criticism does is open up your mind to the bigger picture.

There are billions of people in this world all with unique experiences and opinions that can add so much dimension to the work that you produce. But you have to be open to it. Step out of your bubble and open your mind to endless feedback. If you could hear the opinions of everyone in the world, just think how much content you’d have to feed off of for your work!

Give Me More Criticism Please

Have you ever considered how much you could learn from criticism? Really, think about it. If you can keep an open mind and not get defensive, then the more criticism you receive, the more you would learn about your field and your audience. And the more you learn, the more talented you would become. It’s a cycle. With knowledge comes confidence and through knowledge and confidence, incredible work develops.

You are Going to Get More Criticism

more criticism

Of course, in this day-and-age, you are going to get more criticism from not only experts, but from people who don’t even have a clue. People love to give their opinions, even if they don’t know anything about what you do. But the beauty of criticism is, you can learn from both groups of people.

Most people can easily blow off negative comments from someone who has no experience in their field, although you really shouldn’t because you can still learn something from them. But it’s with experts and with colleagues that people tend to have a hard time accepting negative observations. For some reason, people have a very hard time seeing past it.

A Critic is an Expert in Your Field

But by definition, a critic is an expert in a particular field, who uses his or her vast knowledge to evaluate the authenticity of someone else’s work. Let’s take a food critic for example. The only way they get that job is by proving, through years of hard work, that they would be a superior judge of food quality and taste. So if you’re a chef in five-star restaurant and you receive a bad review from one of these critics, you have a choice to make. You can get angry and write them off as an idiot, or you can find something positive in that review. Now with the first option, you really don’t learn anything, and honestly, you just look like an arrogant snob.

Look for the Negative and the Positive in Criticism

But with the second option, by looking for the positive in a negative, you will be able to gain knowledge based on that critic’s experiences; experiences that are different from your own. You will also develop as a chef and as a person. Not to say that everything the critic writes is 100% truth. There could be several points that you do not agree with and rightly so, but if you can train yourself to take a deep breath and pull at least one or two positive aspects from their criticism, you will be amazed at how much you can learn. So bring on more criticism! And who knows, with enough criticism, maybe someday you will become the critic, and think about how much knowledge you would be able to share then.

How to Respond, Not React to Criticism

The fact of the matter is, no matter what you do in life, you will be criticized on it. Whether you’re a writer, an artist, a designer, a chef, an executive, it doesn’t matter. No matter what career you choose, there will always be criticism. It’s how you respond, not react to criticism.

react to criticism

Now if you are not the best at receiving criticism or if you are the type of person who is easily offended by criticism, this could really hurt your career and ultimately your ability to develop as a person. Often times, when we are upset by something, we, as humans, have a tendency to react, sometimes overreact.

Respond! Don’t React to Criticism

Ultimately though, with criticism, it is much better if we can reach a point in our lives that we have the ability to breathe, think on it and then respond, not react to criticism. There are three very simple steps that you can practice in your life and then put into action when it comes to criticism.

Number one, love what you do.

Seems simple enough, right? The truth is, if you really love what you do, then your work will reflect that. And if you truly love what you do, then you will find yourself becoming more open to outside criticism. If your work is nothing more than a hobby or something you do just to make money, it will be much harder for you to receive criticism.

Number two, believe in what you do.

You should only do something that you truly believe in. If you have strong convictions about what you do, then someone’s criticism of your work will fuel those convictions, not dismantle them. Plus, you will be able to not only receive the criticism graciously, you will actually be able to have conversations about it!

Number three, find the positive in everything.

Unfortunately, criticism inherently carries a negative connotation. As a design teacher, I never heard my students say, “Oh how wonderful! I am being critiqued today.” So with any criticism, it is imperative to find the positive aspects of it and learn from it, no matter where or who it comes from.

There will be critics

Let’s face it, you are going to be criticized by people in all facets of your life. But if you can integrate these three very simple steps into your life, you will find that that terrible feeling will begin to go away, and you will be able to respond, not react to criticism and to the comments being made. Over time, you will actually welcome criticism. It may sound crazy now, but give it time. It really can happen for you!

The Most Eye Opening Criticism

Think about a time in your life when someone criticized something you did and it really affected you. Perhaps it came at a time when you were already feeling down, and it really hurt you. You probably said to yourself, “Why would someone say that? That’s just mean.” Perhaps you will even allow it to fester and make you angry.

Eye opening Criticism

But what you may not realize is that how you react to criticism can change your life, either for the better or for the worse, and it can even change the lives of those around you. If you allow criticism to upset you, then you will, eventually, become a very angry human being. This really doesn’t do any good for you and it doesn’t do any good for anyone around you either. If you allow it, negativity will do nothing but breed more negativity. And who wants to live like that?

Turn Negative Criticism into Eye Opening Criticism

Instead, try to take that very moment, when you receive the criticism, and tell yourself that from every negative critique comes positive change in your life. If you can keep an open mind, that negative critique has the power to have a positive impact on you in more ways than you could ever imagine. It can make you smarter, it can make you stronger, it can make you a more patient person, it can help you develop better personal skills, it can help you see your work from different angles, and really, in general, you will be a much happier person. If you can do nothing else, at least take that negative and turn it into what fuels you to do better.

Eye Opening Criticism can bring People Together

The most exciting part of eye opening criticism is that it can actually bring ideas and people together. It can even change the course of history. Think about people like Nelson Mandela. What if he decided to give up? What if he let all the negative criticism around him, from the citizens in his country, from the media and from politicians, pull him down and make him angry and violent? Do you think the same outcome would have occurred in South Africa? No way!

Sometimes criticism can be the key element that ends up opening people’s eyes to see an injustice. It can open people’s eyes to a different way of doing something, and not just in the political world.

Consider how eye opening criticism affected great artists.

Eye opening Criticism

How do you think art movements like Impressionism, Surrealism and Modernism came about? How were strides made in terms of new technology? Do you think those people were surrounded by only positive feedback? Of course not! But look what they were able to create and how many lives they impacted!

Criticism and Language

Criticism, for many people, carries the same meaning as judgment. In fact, one of the top synonyms of criticism is judgment. And one of the top synonyms of critic is judge. No wonder people have such a hard time with this term! Who wants to be judged? Obviously, people get defensive when it comes to being criticized. They can’t see the benefits, because the judgment side of it is so overpowering. And in today’s society, the word judgment doesn’t exactly carry a good connotation.

But if you go back in time, a clearer picture of why those two words are synonymous with words like judge and judgment begins to form. In the English language, we often forget that our words have a social and historical context to them. Language develops out of culture, and it affects how we perceive the words we use. There can be so many connotations to a word, and if we don’t look at the historical and social context, we can miss the whole point.

Let’s take just two words as an example. First, the word “awful” used to mean something that was inspiring. Today, awful means something bad or terrible. Quite a difference, right? Complete opposites really. For the second example, take the word “thongs.” Thongs used to refer to a pair of flip-flops, but we all know very well that that is not what people refer to now when they say, “I want to buy thongs.” In fact, I can just imagine the reaction of a teenager who overhears that sentence, especially if it’s their grandmother who says it.

Judgment and criticism have also suffered the same, although not as comical, misconceptions. A judgment was the opinion of a person of high regard. It used to carry the meaning of a belief or opinion based on study and higher education. Today, we often think of a judgment as an opinion based in ignorance, not education.

The word judge has gone through even more changes. In Jewish history, judges were leaders. The word had a positive connotation of strong, protective individuals. Then, judges became those who bore the responsibility of sentencing those who committed crimes. Again, not meant to have a negative connotation, but perhaps during the years of slavery, that all changed. Today, we tend to think of judges more so as those on American Idol or The Voice.

The point being, we need to take a deep breath and a step back when we think of the words criticism or critic. Although they have been distorted over the years, they truly do represent concepts that mirror our idea of positive feedback, which is only meant to help you develop in your area of expertise.

Criticism & Success

Criticism & Success

Nowadays, criticism has such a negative connotation that most people automatically react poorly to even just the term itself, without even thinking about its benefits. People think that the phrase “constructive criticism” is just something people made up so they could put a positive swing on bashing your work. What happened to turn such a positive form of communication into a hated and feared concept?

Perhaps our upbringing has tainted our idea of criticism. Could it be that people took this term and used it to justify their judgments on your life’s choices? Perhaps you heard one too many times that they were just giving you “constructive criticism” and you shouldn’t take it so personally. Perhaps in school you weren’t the strongest in one subject and the teacher made fun of you and called it criticism.

But criticism really should be one of the best forms of helping others succeed. Criticism is meant to come from experts in the field. It is meant to be positive, despite what it has become over the years. And although for many, it feels like a personal attack, maybe there can be a way for us to see how it is a learning experience for not only the person being critiqued, but for the critics themselves.

For the person being critiqued, it is a way to grow in their field. There is so much to learn from someone who is experienced in your profession. Everyone has experiences in life and in the business realm, and criticism is a great way to share those experiences with others. If you’re a writer, you will become a better writer through criticism. If you’re an artist, you will become a better artist through criticism. Someone will open your eyes to another perspective and your work will evolve into the best work you’ve ever done.

And criticism benefits the critic just as much as the person being criticized. The critic is learning, at the same time, a new perspective. They are learning the perspective of the writer or the artist, and they can, in turn, use that perspective to help them develop their own work.

A true critic is meant to first put themselves in the shoes of the artist. Next, they should look at the work from the public’s view. Then they should look at the work from their own view, from their own experience in the field. Think about it. If you are getting advice from someone who just looked at your work from three different angles, that’s three different angles than your own. Think about how much you could learn, and think about how much that would help you grow as an artist or a writer. The possibilities are endless!

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