Have you thought about a life design strategy for yourself?
You do not have to simply endure your problems and negative experiences in life. These troubling circumstances and events can be learning tools for you that can help to design a better life moving forward. The problems in your life can be helpful and informative to help you determine how best to create your future.
Learning from negative experiences improves your future decisions. Setbacks and failures are learning opportunities, and you can apply this to your next attempt or future goals. Problems provide you with the skills and knowledge you did not have previously and improve how you decide to pursue things in the future.
The negative experiences in your life often point to areas in your skills, knowledge, or self-knowledge that need improvement. Even when the circumstances were completely random and beyond your control, you can still learn a lot about yourself, including areas for improvement.
Life Design Strategy: Use Problems to Redesign Your Life
This unique life design strategy means choosing between many possible futures, and then making a choice to do the work necessary to accomplish your goals. These choices define who you are and what you will become.
The first step to using your problems to help inform your life’s design is to spend some time logging all your failures and problems. Select a specific period to examine, then write down every problem or failure you experienced during that time. Focus not only on issues for yourself but how your choices created problems for others.
For each of these problems, then, you need to determine the source or type of your difficulties. Is it a minor screw-up that was easily fixable? If so, have you acknowledged this problem and either apologized if needed or otherwise moved on? These types of problems shouldn’t necessarily inform your design process, but they can tell you where you need to focus more attention in your daily life.
Is the problem a result of personal weakness? Are there mistakes that you seem to make again and again? In these cases, you may need to choose to avoid specific situations or options so as not to engage these weaknesses. Remember, avoidance is a choice, too. Not all problems require a solution. Some just need to not be repeated.
Finally, is the problem a growth opportunity? These situations invite you to improve, learn, and grow by paying attention to what went wrong, what you could have done differently, and using that knowledge to make better choices in the future.
Those areas that are growth opportunities are places where design thinking can help. These represent parts of your life where you are unhappy or can grow, and these can be used to design a life that helps you achieve all you want in life.
Life Design Strategy: Become Immune to Failure
When you see your problems and failures as learning opportunities, and when you realize that designing your own life means you can’t fail, you will become immune to worry and anxiety about your problems and fears.
Your problems are what help you develop perseverance or what some call grit. When you see your problems and failures as growth experiences, instead of roadblocks, you build grit and are able to accept that life is a process, not an outcome.
Life Design Strategy: Think of Problems as the Raw Material for Your Dreams
is no winning or losing when you choose to design your own life because the
process means you get to keep designing and changing in pursuit of happiness.
Your problems are just the raw material for your dreams. We all have problems
and make mistakes, but learning from these is what makes you a stronger, more
confident person who is ready to pursue any dream you choose.
Are you wondering how you can reinvent yourself? Consider for a minute how much of your life is affected by stress. It’s possible to get so entrenched in fighting fires and lurching from disaster to disaster that we become essentially reactive. We plan our lives around our troubles, instead of having fulfilling lives filled with challenges and opportunities.
We get so enmeshed in problems related to stress, our very personalities get warped. This isn’t to say we become an evil shadow of ourselves, but we end up straying from what we want to do, how we want to be and who we really are.
It’s possible that at one time we had some great coping skills, but times change, and so do situations. What worked well in the past might not be working so well nowadays. Think then of how different your life could be if you weren’t so powerfully affected by stress. By learning some new coping skills, you reinvent yourself anew.
Consider the following techniques to reinvent yourself with new ways to cope.
Reinvent Yourself by Changing the Way You Talk to Yourself
It is actually a simple thing to change your self-talk. Often we aren’t aware of the way our inner voice affects our outer reality, but we need to get awake to it. When something irksome happens, do you think “Not another disaster! What am I going to do? This is hopeless.”
No one is suggesting you change that to a mental happy dance when something bad happens but changing your self-talk to a more supportive and encouraging stance helps reduce stress. In many ways, it’s the way we perceive disadvantageous situations that control our response—not the trouble itself.
Cognitive re-framing is an excellent way to Reinvent Yourself
Changing your self-talk is part of a coping skill set called cognitive re-framing. Cognitive re-framing involves looking at a problem or situation with a fact-based approach, as opposed to an emotional approach. Feelings are real, and it’s important to honor them, but our emotions are not always rooted in reality.
Recognizing when our feelings aren’t coming from a realistic outlook is one of the most powerful coping skills you can ever learn. It’s a skill, and it takes time and practice to shift from a stress-coping approach based on emotion to one based on facts. By observing things as they are, as opposed to how we wish they were, how we think they should be, or how we fear they might be, we learn to tackle problems realistically.
Be Flexible in Your Approach
Increase your flexibility. Often, we don’t see solutions to life’s problems because for various reasons, we deliberately block off those very solutions. This following is a complex example, If you’re behind at work, but working one weekend would get you totally caught up, would you do it? If your answer is “No way, I’m never doing work for free,” yet you agonize over your backlog of work all week long, are you really better off holding to your ideal of no weekend work? If it’s just one weekend to correct a perpetually agonizing thorn in your flesh, which would you rather have?
There are so many examples of this kind of self-blocking. Sometimes, you have to think of the unthinkable to reduce stress. As well, a rigid approach to problem-solving doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Reducing stress requires a fairly flexible approach. People will notice when you become less rigid.
Being Mindful is an Excellent Way to Reinvent Yourself
Add mindfulness to your life. Mindfulness is self-explanatory, but more of a challenge than it sounds. Mindfulness means fully attending to what we’re doing right now, what we’re feeling, and what’s prompting those feelings.
Mindfulness also takes into account the physical environment. Where are we, what are the colors, the whole tactile experience going on around us?
If that sounds ridiculous, remember that everything we experience—everything—gets filtered, interpreted, valued or discarded inside our heads. Our minds create stress. You can be mindful anywhere, at any time.
We all want to be the best version of ourselves as we can be. This takes time, self-reflection, diligence, and willpower. You have to take great care in designing your life and yourself. This woman’s guide to designing her life is a process that can be even more challenging for women, as we tend to struggle in putting ourselves first and taking time for ourselves.
your best self involves a fair amount of self-analyzing; you’ll need to
identify and address your faults and be patient enough to handle slow,
process can’t happen overnight. In this article, we’ll walk you through this
process and tell you how you can design your greatest self.
The Woman’s Guide to Designing Her Life is a Process
Be Open to New Things
first step in designing your greatest self is to try new things. Be open to new
opportunities and adventures. You might be surprised at how much this simple
act can change you and your path in life. Try new things, learn new skills,
meet new people, explore new places; you never know where you might end up or
how it might change you.
Take Time for Self-Reflection
never be your greatest self if you don’t know yourself. Taking time to explore
who you are as a person, what you like to do, what you want in life is
essential to your happiness and success. Take some time monthly, weekly, or
even daily to really get to know yourself.
Stay Motivated and Keep Your
all have days where we don’t feel as motivated, but we can’t let them get the
better of us. If you’re going to design and work on your greatest self, you
have to push through the slow period and find your motivation so you don’t lose
momentum. Progress is an incremental process.
Know the Good Habits from the Bad
all have a mixed bag of good and bad habits with which we deal. It’s important
to identify these habits and whether they’re good or bad when designing your
greatest self. You should do what you can to maximize your good habits and
minimize the bad ones.
Don’t Let Your Emotions Take
experiencing emotions and working through them are normal and necessary parts
of life, allowing them to take control and rule important decisions in your
life can be detrimental. It’s important to keep them in check whenever
necessary and to identify appropriate times to express them. In order to do
this, you’ll have to be in-tune with your emotions to know when they’re taking
control and when it’s an appropriate level of emotion for the predicament or
Put Yourself First Sometimes
it’s important and honorable to put others before yourself, you’re important
too. You have to put yourself first every once in a while. It’s a trend among
women to always put the needs of others before their own, which is amicable
until it becomes detrimental.
you never take care of yourself, you’ll become too weak and feeble to care for
others or yourself. You have to find a balance and be sure to give yourself the
time and care you need.
your greatest self takes work, diligence, patience, time, and a whole lot of effort.
You have to take time for self-reflection and the patience and strength to work
on improving yourself. This is not always easy, as you’ll have to admit to and
address your faults, but it’s necessary and healthy, as well as the only way to
become truly your best self.
We hope that you found this article to be useful as you navigate through the process of designing your best self. Just remember, as you go through this process, that the change will not happen overnight; it will take time for you to fully implement these changes and start to see results. Be patient with yourself and don’t give up.
5 Key Reasons To Design Your Lifestyle the Way You Really Want
By making the choice to design the life you really want, versus letting life just happen to you, you will experience some crucial benefits. Taking control of your life and going after the things that are really important to you can help you not only achieve your dreams but also learn new skills, find new opportunities, and let go of the fears that are holding you back. Here are the top five reasons you should start today to design the life you really want.
#1. You can learn to identify what makes you happy in life.
When you make the decision to design your life the way you want it to be, you have to understand what it is that make you truly happy. When you get in touch with your strengths, your gifts, and what brings you joy and energizes you, you can use this knowledge to put yourself on a path toward something better.
Designing your life starts with an assessment of yourself, and you’ll gain untold new knowledge about what makes you happy in life and how that is likely to change over time.
#2. Design Your Lifestyle so You can learn to appreciate failures and mistakes as learning opportunities
When you design your own life, you learn that all the missteps and obstacles that you face in life are not setbacks or failures. They are, instead, opportunities to learn and grow. Being happy in life and achieving your goals is a process. It doesn’t all happen at once, and you don’t know everything you need to know right now to make it all come true in the future.
You have to learn, and learning is a process of trial and error, of making and learning from mistakes. Designing your life allows you the freedom to set your sights on a goal that makes you happy and be at peace with the process of learning and evolving that must happen in order for you to achieve that dream.
#3. Design Your Lifestyle so You can find a fulfilling career or create your own
Designing your own life means you don’t have to be stuck in your current job and that you can reach for new aspirations at any point in your existence. The design process teaches you to imagine many different futures, all of which could make you happy, and to understand that finding work that energizes you and brings you joy and passion shouldn’t be a big lofty goal that is un-achievable.
Design your lifestyle means you pick the one job that fulfills you today, and when that stops being your passion, you know you have the skills and mindset to find the next great opportunity.
#4. You can learn to navigate the biggest decision points in your life with ease.
Designing your life teaches you how to assess, make evaluations, envision multiple outcomes, and select among many different choices.
These are all essential life skills when it comes to not only designing your life but also making tough decisions along the way. Once you feel confident that your design process works and is bringing you happiness, you’ll start to see many ways these skills are transferable to all the decision-making points in your life.
#5. You can imagine multiple futures for yourself, then decide which to pursue.
Design is a process that involves choices and options. When you design the life you really want, you take the time to imagine multiple futures and varied pathways.
You see that several different options could bring you joy, and you are reminded that there is not one right future or path for you. Knowing this is freeing, allowing you to change directions in the future or start again when you find your passion and joy waning.
Lifestyle Design Strategy: Get In Touch With The Freedom To Live!
Are you ready to design your life on your own terms? Getting in touch with your freedom to live can help you imagine a future you never dreamed as well as well increase your motivation for following your passions in life.
Before beginning the life design process, it’s a good idea to get in touch with your true freedom, as it can open possibilities that help you create the life you’ve always wanted.
As evolving, changing creatures, our lives are not meant to be bound or constrained. You are free to be whomever you imagine for yourself, and no one should limit your freedom to choose what you do in life. You have nothing but freedom to build the life you can love, and the only thing stopping you is yourself.
Getting in Touch with Your Own Sense of Freedom
Here are a few strategies to help you tap into your sense of freedom, which can unlock your creativity and help you find fulfillment in life.
1. Create Unscheduled Time
I like to leave some empty spaces in my calendar this allows me to explore my interests and do spontaneous things. Give yourself a morning or evening to do either absolutely nothing or whatever comes to mind that day, but don’t place any expectations on these hours other than they are yours. Remember to use it for yourself, not to catch up on other things or finish your to-do list. To learn to enjoy freedom, you have to have the space for it.
2. Find a Place Where You Can Feel Small
Get outside to enjoy nature, which can help you realize the immensity of the world. Think long walks in the woods, being outside among rolling hills, or sitting at the edge of the ocean. Find somewhere in your area where you can experience the sheer power of nature, the immensity of scale that comes with the living, breathing planet.
This can not only help you relax and breathe a little deeper but also helps put yourself into perspective with the rest of this giant rock we call home. This can bring you healing and power to enjoy the freedom you have in life.
Another option to this is to go to a place that makes you feel like a child again, for me this is going to Disney or a children’s movie. Recently, we went to see Mary Poppins at the theater. I felt like a little kid sitting in the theater and transformed to whimsical thoughts.
3. Lifestyle Design Means Getting in Touch with Yourself
Spend time regularly doing things that are just for you. Connecting with yourself, paying attention to your needs, and spending time alone with your thoughts are all excellent ways to tap into your passions and reflect on where you want your life to take you.
Spending quality time with yourself, without having to answer to others about how you are spending your hours, is an essential part of realizing what aspects of life are limiting you and how you can free yourself from those constraints.
4. Break Away From Those Who Try to Control You
If there are people in your life who are trying to push you in specific directions, even when your heart is resisting, it is time to let them go. While support is important when designing your life, it is equally essential that those in your life are there to listen and provide love, not to force you where you don’t want to be.
If you have controlling people in your life, you need to be strong and break ties, which will give you the freedom to be true to yourself.
5. Expect the Best Outcome
Set yourself up for success by expecting the best result. Too often we think that only the mediocre or lackluster is what we deserve. That encourages you to accept “good enough.” Demand the best.
6. Create Your Own Cheering Section
Surround yourself with successful people and let them know about your goals. Look for “Creative Champions” as Julia Cameron would call them. These people understand the importance of goals and will congratulate you as you work through obstacles to achieve them. Distance yourself from “Poisonous Playmates,” people who constantly throw a wet-blanket over your ideas and goals. These two terms come from Julia Cameron’s book the Vein of Gold.
7. See Yourself as Successful
Identify your unique qualities and recognize that these are the tools that lead you to success. Don’t dwell on weaknesses, just find someone who has those strengths and put them on your team.
You Are the Master of Your Own Life
If you feel like your life is dictating your choices, then you need to adjust. You can either change your attitude to accept this reality, or you can change your life to make it what you want.
Only you can know what makes you feel free, and only you can make a choice to change your life. Gain clarity about what freedom really means for yourself, then you can design a life that helps you achieve that sense of freedom.
But what if doing the same thing each day won’t lead to your goal?
What if there are multiple steps? Multiple milestones. This is a Journey Goal.
Before we launch into journey goals, it’s important to figure out what your goals are.
The Problem of Too Many Ideas
Many entrepreneurs have the same problem that I have, where I come up with too many ideas. Everyday, I have at least 10 ideas for a new business or a new product or a new service. This on top of my service business and role of mother. If you read James Althucher’s Choose Yourself, he says to write down 10 ideas a day. So I was doing this. This is not a bad habit but it can lead to mental overwhelm if it is not managed.
A Better Way to Capture your Big Lofty Ideas
Ideas are awesome but if you are not capturing these ideas in a system then you may as well just throw them away. Buy a simple spiral notebook, start an Evernote notebook or write them in my new book, Design Your Lifestyle Roadmap . Consider this your modern day dream catcher.
But don’t stop with just the idea. Write about why this is a good idea and who would benefit. You may find repetition in your idea notebook. The same idea pops up in your mind repeatedly. This is a good thing. As my Missouri heritage says, “The cream rises to the top”
Big Lofty Ideas
One morning on my sunrise walk, trudging along feeling overwhelmed. Just overwhelmed, with all that I had to do. Walking along, looking at the sidewalk and deep in thought. A little voice in my mind said, “Look up….hurry look up.” So I looked up into the sky and saw a huge hot air balloon rising up over the lake I was walking around. I watched it quietly and gently rise higher into the sky. I started to walk again and suddenly another balloon glided into my view. It was just as colorful and graceful as the first one that graced my eyes. Stopping and admiring the sight of two balloons in the air. I began walking again and a third balloon rose from the horizon, this time I was not surprised. While admiring the three beautiful balloons against the pink sky. I heard the little voice again say, “All your ideas are beautiful, Kimberly but you can only launch one at a time.”
So I went back to the idea notebook and I looked at all those ideas I had dumped in there. I landed on writing this book as a starting point for women entrepreneurs who like me may struggle with figuring out what to do next on their entrepreneurial journey.
Designing Your Life as a Journey
Think of it this way: If you plan to take a road trip and want to get a car first, getting a car that can operate well in different terrains will allow you to take a number of different routes to your destination. Even though the destination doesn’t change, you might not want to take the interstate the whole time.
This line of reasoning is particularly important for young people. You are already expected to know what you want to do for a living when you are in high school, but many people change majors at least once while in college. This is often seen as a problem because what you do for a living is seen as the goal, when the goal should really be living comfortably and being happy – a goal that is not limited by your profession. If you have a plan that is dedicated to eventually achieving financial independence, changing your major or your career path can be seen more as taking a new route rather than not knowing what the plan is.
Your Big Someday Goal Should Be A Little Vague
When considering your most important goals, it is important to make them somewhat vague. The grand-scheme of what we want for our lives isn’t likely to change too much over time, but how we expect to achieve it can change drastically. Of course, that’s okay, but it’s best to make plans that can fit different trajectories or roads to getting there.
Leave Room In Your Design to Change Roads
Of course, what career path you take isn’t the only way that your path toward your goals can change. Many people plan their lives as though they were the only person involved, which is never the case. You should be the focus of your life plan, but when designing your life, never forget that there are other people who can help you in any number of ways.
Include Family & Friends while Designing Your Life
Family may be able to offer financial support. Friends or romantic relationships may be able to offer emotional support. Teachers, bosses, mentors, and other figures can offer advice, access to new resources, or change the path that you take to reach your goals. Be careful about neglecting your loved ones while designing your life. It may seem like it allows you to have a clearer plan with fewer variables. After all, it’s easier to plan what you will do than it is to know what people you will run into or how they will impact your life. However, not allowing these sorts of influences into your life will mean passing up on opportunities and resources that can take you to your goal, even if it means taking an eraser to part of your life’s design plans.
Don’t Carve Your Map in Stone
As in the previous section, the best thing to do is to never have your design plan set in stone. The important thing is keeping the main goal in sight and having a plan that will let you take the best route to that goal, even though you may not know the best roads to take when you sit down to make your plan. You may also find interesting places to stop along the way.
Focus on Your Big Someday Goal but Be Willing to Change Your Path to Getting There
Designing an effective life plan means that you need to keep your goals in mind. The more you focus on your life goals, the more you can tweak your plans to achieve them. It can be tempting to watch the variables to the point that you have no design at all, but this too is risky. Be prepared to go back to the drawing board but be sure that there is always something on that board.